I thought I was as strong as I knew ‘bout myself. I was as wise as the kings, I can do everything in the name of love…. but I was wrong…

I am not perfect… I admit I do commit sins. I never imagine prior to what I am suffering right now, all the consequences that might arise.

I did something I never expected to be happened even before… but the fact is, I really did… I’m sorry Lord… coz I always thought that I was in the right track. I am heartily shattered into tiny pieces of my dignity and personality…

It’s so painful you know… I am in nowhere asking if I can be this or that. Am I the one or not?  Am I loving as what he’s expected?  Only God knows how I really feel… I just pray that I can handle all of the negative forces. I can’t promise anything… But from now on, I should be more vigilant and fair…

It’s not easy to have priorities and goals in life, somewhere in the middle of nowhere, you will instantly feel you’re alone and nothing important in this world. I have a lot of things to be done in order to lift up the status of family life. I’m not here to just have work. I’m here for a very good mission God had designed for me. Now, I do feel that I am following the right way of achieving those stars… To whom shall I run? To whom shall I dare to reach out? No one seems to care and no one seems to listen… unlike before, when I was in the province, I do feel all people are supporting me… I have everything, anything and everyone… What happened to Clarie that I knew before? Was she out of her mind and soul to do something which is not to be, in the name of love? No one can judge me why I act the way I am today… I know I do good and nothing else. If I’ve done something wrong, I think the reason is I was just human being, I do commit sins…

How shall I bring back my self-esteem? Would there be anyone whom shall care and love me? I don’t know… I just pray i can overcome all of these. Thanks.