Clarie Mae Labao Estella·Last edited May 6, 2021
” How to Love” (July 28, 2009)
Be firm, be persistent, be patient
God told me so.
But, before that, I want to ask myself
What is the real meaning of romantic love?
For being here on earth 25 years ago
I’ve come to ask myself, have I truly love someone rightly?
Have I been fair to him? I guess, it’s hard to answer
because love cannot be defined. It can only be expressed.
I’ve come to find out what it really is…
I’ve engaged myself to a person I thought
I feel, I believe he is the right one
I’ve given everything.
Coz I just believe
the instinct within me is telling me this what I gonna do
shared my life, my being, my talents, and my family with him
I have regards him as half of my life
for if I would depart from him, I will die…
I have made myself programmed that we are one
In return to that, I never asked him
if he do feel, think, and believe as mine
As time goes by, we end up nothing, but tragedy.. why?
He cannot decide as to whether he will swim with me.
He cannot defend and fight me back
Have I done something wrong?, Am I the one to be blamed?
Because I am this and that?
I’ve come up to mind to depart from him, for he has no word of honor
We broke up. My heart shattered
the pain within me cannot be fathomed and explained
But life must go on..
We don’t have communication for 2.5 years
I’ve done everything to forget him
I’ve worked for my family, fill in the needs of others, I’ve entertained some suitors
but it it was nothing when everything in the past suddenly flashed back
When I thought I have let go and overcome
Ive hold on to the truth, Ive waited for him…
the faith that we could be together again…
I couldn’t understand myself
why I value him so much in my life despite what he has done
I never became wild.. I never got angry with him
Instead, I have loved him much, for me, that was love.
I prayed to God that I want to talk to him
That’s right you cannot serve two masters at a time
I cannot love God, if do have focus on him
God is calling me to do His will
but I, having my own will, looked backed and asked him: Lord, can he still love me?
He answered “NO”. You should love me first and above all
I cried for it, I was anxious enough
I still asked Him to permit me to talk to him
Stubborn that I am.. I failed..
We still cant resolve the past and we ended up as No Promises…
If only I have heard HIM right
If only I have focus on HIM
If only I have followed HIM
Even though I knew in my heart, God will never abandon me and will never tell a lie
“He is indeed the greatest”
Now, I am asking myself, Have I really loved?
Have I been the one being loved here or am I just loving myself?
Haven’t I value and consider the guy’s feelings?
Now, he has his own love and it pained me.
But what shall I do? I don’t own him.
What I can do is to love him still as God said unto me, but as a friend
Heal the sorrow and the pain.
Forget and erase by doing such, everything you have for him.
You should be persistent, firm and patient
Remember always one thing:
In love, there is only one Powerful and can give, It’s HIM above
No one else, the perfect meaning of love cannot be explained, it can only be expressed and shared to everyone..
Even when it means hurt and GOODBYE